" It was not, after all, so easy to die. every second he breathed, the smell of the grass, the cool air on his face, was so precious: to think that people had years and years, time to waste, so much time that it dragged, and he was clinging to each second."
"perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it.those who have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle, because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

i really don't know love at all

i've come a long way in these past few months. i've seen things that i thought were impossible. i've experienced feelings that were unknown to me. and though i'm thankful for everything, i have to ask, was it really worth it? where am i now and where am i going.. i'm lost, more than ever and i have to question myself and above everything else i have to question love. the one thing that i thought should matter the most. but it seems that it doesn't.. love doesn't matter in that big way we want to believe. it gets lost in everyday simple things. well, actually, it just gets lost. and for the time being i am lost with it. i will continue to look for myself and probably even for love, but in a bigger scale (kisses, elux :), though you are not reading it), i've lost again such a big fragment of that mystery puzzle, that probably, soon enough, i will simply disregard it. luckily there are still red roses in my vase and martini asti on my table.. there is still something to live for.

i just have to say this. i have never felt like this before. and probably will not either. ever. this is what you pay, when you give yourself the privilege of true feelings. they don't exist in the way we wanna believe in them. cause it's too good to be true. so let's stay at this ordinary suffering state. now and forever. i, at least, can gather so many feelings of the other people, who somehow admire me now matter what, always and forever. if you have everything, why should you look for perfect? right?!?!

the world is my oyster

to be, to have and to love is simpler then ever. there is such a potential within people's minds that from time to time it's totally elusive. the key is releasing. we tend to talk that opening one's mind and knowingly working with yourself, to be a different person, is rubbish, but it's not. it really does work, we are sometimes just lazy and so overwhelmed with common comfort, that we tend to leave it just how it was. we deny our secret wishes and we just linger around in materialized bubbles. but we shouldn't! we couldn't! just to think, even for mere five minutes, how wonderful the world is and how many possibilities it offers, then one must realize that the potential is huge! there are millions and millions places to visit. billions and billions people to meet. endless amount of things to do and images to enjoy, sounds to hear, emotions to feel. the world is my oyster.