i really don't know love at all

i've come a long way in these past few months. i've seen things that i thought were impossible. i've experienced feelings that were unknown to me. and though i'm thankful for everything, i have to ask, was it really worth it? where am i now and where am i going.. i'm lost, more than ever and i have to question myself and above everything else i have to question love. the one thing that i thought should matter the most. but it seems that it doesn't.. love doesn't matter in that big way we want to believe. it gets lost in everyday simple things. well, actually, it just gets lost. and for the time being i am lost with it. i will continue to look for myself and probably even for love, but in a bigger scale (kisses, elux :), though you are not reading it), i've lost again such a big fragment of that mystery puzzle, that probably, soon enough, i will simply disregard it. luckily there are still red roses in my vase and martini asti on my table.. there is still something to live for.