living only for moments. that is all i can bare for now. waking every morning up to do my simple routine. to go to work, to school, to do the things that somehow are compulsory and still, i cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. each small decision that i'm making to make it work "in a bigger scale" backfires. I feel good for a minute or maybe even for ah hour, but then it all falls apart. again. and i really don't know anymore, what I want. did i ever know it? will i ever? can someone know at all, for real? forever? i doubt it. so continuing to live for moments. or just to settle with barely satisfactory, but not marvelous? but i can't, i just can't.. so routine until everything right comes along. and even if it doesn't, then i know, i've tried. it is right, but am i up for it?